It hit me this morning when all of my tickers, calendar updates, and blog were off. One website said 364 days until your child is 1 years old! This ticker above said that Baby J graced our lives yesterday. Outlook kept on a blinking reminder that Baby J was due yesterday. These were all reminders of what an emotional day yesterday was for me.
I woke up in the morning and watched the sun beam into Baby J's room as I sat in my rocking chair and just fell out in tears. I've been holding you for 280 days girl and you weren't here for your birthday! I've been in pain and all that, but not enough to get overly emotional about it. Yesterday just hit me because it was just the realization that it wasn't going to happen and that I was going to be that mom that carried past 40 weeks.
Later in the day yesterday, I thought maybe you just might come. I couldn't take the pain anymore and headed to L & D to check things out. Nada. She is just getting bigger, causing me a ton of pain, and no progression. The doctor saw how stressed I've been (I haven't been sleeping because contractions keep me up all night). She said doctor's orders are to go home, drink a glass of wine and take a bath.
That glass of wine was heaven along with watching me some Miss USA pageant. I had the best rest I've had in the last 2 1/2 months. I awaken this morning to still having contractions but at least I am rested. I've sent my hubby on his way to work. I'm in my recliner... just waiting as I've been told that now the pressure of the baby is causing me additional pain and to stop walking around.
As I wake up with a fresh mind this morning, I have a renewed feeling of "oh my gosh, I'm going to see my little one sometime this week!" She didn't come by her due date, but she will be here. That puts a special glow on my face. So here is to Baby J coming sometime this week... I hope.